Smiling Faces. (^_^)

Posted on February 11, 2011 by Imnotgoing Sideways

So far I’ve been generally creep’d out by non-SL-ish avatars.  Namely the ones in Blue Mars, Playstation Home, and Twinity.  I couldn’t really nail down why. (>_<)

I don’t mind that they’re trying to be more “realistic”… Seems fine to me. (^_^)

Then, it just kinda dawned on me… What the heck are they looking at? (O.o)

As “Immy” in SL, my head is held by my AO probably half the time.  The other half, I’m panning around the room.  I’m looking at chatters, sound sources, and my onscreen cursor.  When my AO has a grip on my head, my eyes take over.  If I cam on myself, I look straight ahead.  Any other time, I’m gazing all over.  (^_^)

When viewing my face, it makes me seem a bit shy, being that I’m constantly looking away to find the cursor that’s somehow ‘behind’ me.  I took advantage of this when I took Glass’ profile picture.  I pointed the camera at her face while her AO was moving her arms around, I was flailing the mouse cursor to point her eyes all over.  I probably had a good 10 shots of her gazing around and picked my fav for her profile pic.  Her personality is quite spacy.  The picture fits. =^-^=

But, I go on another grid and I find a couple things.  First, the avatars don’t exactly look at things.  Though, if you aim the camera at their face, they look dead on AT the camera… Staring my butt down all creepy-like. DX

Also, they default to intermittently smile once in a while.  Of course, it’s that creepy “You gon’ get raped” smile. (>_<)

So, my avatar is staring at me like a predator… What’s it look like to other people? (O.o)

Well, it don’t look at them.  I can’t aim the avatar’s head at anyone.  It doesn’t appear to notice chatting or sounds.  If it’s not looking at a void directly ahead of it, it’s just following a random path of voids to gaze at. (=_=)

Either way, it’s frigg’n creepy and sure prevents me from considering that avatar believable or attractive at all. (._.)

Really… Our poses are a huge part of our personality.  We observe body language.  If someone’s coyly wobbling around or if someone is grasping their own arms… We can get a hint of what mood they’re in, their general personality, and what state they’re generally in. (^_^)

Why else would AOs be so popular in SL? =^-^=

If everyone animates the same way, the experience dirges.  We just see bodies standing in a room like mannequins… Following the same routine as each other.  This lack of ‘life’ makes it all the more difficult to adopt our avatar as an extension of ourselves. (._.)

I want my avatar to be “me”.  Not some lifeless, listless, mind molester.  I’m yet to find a virtual world that helps me create that any better than Second Life… Even given how quirky and dated the mesh is. (^_^)

Though… Given I have object files of my own shape and my own skins… Nehehehe. =^-^=

Just, only if I can do something about the poses.  It’s one thing to look like something, it’s another to move like it.  Both are necessary for me to be my “me”. (^_^)y

Update:  I found an animation I made of a few of the photos in the collection I made while preparing Glass’ profile. (^_^)

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I needed moar space… (=_=)

Posted on February 9, 2011 by Imnotgoing Sideways

Sooooooo…  Linden Lab wants to know how good my customer service experience has been once again.  (=_=)

Well,  let’s say it wasn’t even good enough to be called bad.  But, I didn’t get a lot of space to say why or how.  So, here I go! =^-^=

You recently contacted support – we’d love to know what you think. Are we…
Disappointing

What happened?
Of the past few tickets I’ve turned in, two were for region restarts due to ghosted prims and one was to a damaged build from the megaprim dump event.  The only one I got a response for was the megaprim dump and only to tell me that a rollback can’t be done.  I’m sure I had to close one of the tickets on my own with no response at all.

Did we solve your problem?
No

That did you think of the resolution provided?
Disappointing

How satisfied are you with the way our Representative handled your query?
Disappointing

What happened?
If I didn’t get a generic copy-paste response that only loosely connected with my request, I got no response at all.

Did we respond to your query in a prompt manner?
No

What do you consider prompt?
Within 24 hours.

What can we do to make things better?
Educate your support staff to the operations on the grid beyond a few arbitrary functions and textbook responses.  Many responses are so canned that I often doubt a human is involved on your end at all.  In addition, even after I’ve described my situation completely enough to indicate that I’m quite knowledgeable, I still get the first-in-line generic response given to even the most clueless request.  Therefore, I’m convinced that many tickets are only checked for keywords and are not read at all.

Each entry box had a character limit of 255.  Sorry, but, I wanted to say more than “It’s fine” or “It sucks”.  Wanna tell me that you care what I think?  Gimmee space to put my thoughts in order. (=_=)

Are you reading Roddie? (=_=)

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Beating Webkit Plugin SLPlugin.exe into submission! DX

Posted on February 2, 2011 by Imnotgoing Sideways

This is driving me bloody nutzo.  I think since November or something I been getting that slpugin.exe failsauce, no matter what client. (._.)

I had to use Radegast to accept the last TOS update since it was a text only readout. (>_<)

I can’t use search AT ALL!!! (>_<)

Web on prim? Yeah, no! DX

So… What do I do to fix it? (T_T)

Set slplugin.exe to WinXP or Win95 compatibility.  Done that, nothing. (._.)

Install the “Other browsers” version of Flash. Done that, nothing. (._.)

Re-install Quicktime.  Done that, nothing. (._.)

Re-install SL.  Done that, nothing. (._.)

Full system scrub…

  • Uninstall SL, Quicktime, and Flash
  • reboot
  • Archive and delete all dependent files
  • reboot
  • Run CCleaner
  • reboot
  • Install Flash(Other OS), Quicktime, SL
  • Test Flash and Quicktime in Firefox
  • reboot
  • Launch SL…

I’ve run SL V2, Beta, Development, Project, Catznip, Phoenix, even bloody FIRESTORM!!! DX

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!! >:F

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!! DX

So, like… What else can I do?  I miss search. (._.)

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Did I do that? (O.o)

Posted on January 31, 2011 by Imnotgoing Sideways

My boss: Where do I find the output file for this program. |:[

Me: It doesn’t have an output file. (o.o)

Boss: Yes it does, I remember. I just need to know where. |:[

Me: It does? Cool! Let’s check it out. XD

**I wrote the program… (._.)

The Immy guarantee:  I’m smart enough to get it to work but not smart enough to explain why it works after I’m done with it. (^_^)y

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Your Mileage May Vary. (^_^)y

Posted on January 26, 2011 by Imnotgoing Sideways

I see a cute little snarkmeister on the Blogorums right now.  He’s pointing out his version of reality as a tool to belittle people who are “interested” in Second Life.  Bloody frigg’n putz.  So, say “Hi” to britishrocker for me, kaykayz? (^_^)

http://blogs.secondlife.com/message/589300#589300

Either way, I didn’t have to think hard to come up with my snarky quip. =^-^=

But… When I say what I think without thinking, I really mean what I say.  When it’s written down, I get a second chance to look at it and wonder WTF was on my mind when I wrote that. (O.o)

Real life requires far more pretending than Second Life does.  To me, it’s not interesting.  It’s liberating.  Your mileage may vary. (^_^)y

Well, isn’t that just special? =^-^=

But, that ~IS~ it, isn’t it?  Like… Second Life, in itself, is not interesting at all.  While volunteering, I think I’ve been saying that all along, just with different wording.  Things like “You get from SL what you put in” or my favorite… When someone asks “What can I do here?” …

“Anything.  Everything. (^_^)y” is my answer. =^-^=

I’m only half joking with that response.  Pretty bold statement, though, huh? =^-^=

There there’s the way I view myself in SL.  I have an avatar in SL just as much as I have a body in RL.  To me, for the sake of my being, there’s very little that separates the two.  I mean, sure, the RL body is pretty much the one keeping me alive, takes precedence in this moment of physical presence, and determines how people view who and what I am in real life.  But, that doesn’t make my body “me” in any way.  In my dreams, I am still “me” yet the majority of my body is not used to experience the event.  (^_^)

So… How can I be “me”? (O.o)

Some people like to be observational and read books or watch movies.  Yes, I believe that the act of reading or watching is an expression of who and what you are.  I’m no psychologist/psychiatrist, but, I see a desire for non-physical involvement and maybe a bit of omnipotence to round things out.  Heh, thinking about it… While reading, you’re the “god” of the story. XD

It may be that your self is in harmony with yourself.  Or, that you haven’t found the outlet for your self to come out.  Or… You’re allowing someone to manipulate you since you have decided that they know the self you’re looking for better than you do.  Who knows?  It’s probably not all that much worth thinking about.  (-_-)

But, hey… I’ve got some free time on my hands. =^-^=

So, Second Life.  I said it’s not interesting.  Well… It’s not.  To the root, it’s a collection of digital triangles formed to simulate squares and circles at varying angles.   Bleh.  What’s the draw?  (O.o)

Our selves. (^_^)

Someone who’s self is an artist may create many things, beautiful and not so beautiful.  In SL, they can do it with ease and expand their self in ways unfathomable out here in the world.  People who can appreciate that self will come to visit and gaze at the results of their expression.  For some examples in the extreme… take a look at people like AM Radio and Arcadia Asylum.  Their creations were not only the results of skillsets, training, or what we call talent… Their selves come through too.  Be it through masterful use of prims and effects and/or textures and illusion. (^_^)

Liberating. (^_^)

Liberating! Xd

I called it ~liberating~.  Second Life is Liberating.  Art is not everyone’s expression of self.  So, not everyone is going to be an artist.  But, for whatever their self is, SL allows it to be expressed and liberated. (^_^)

I’ve said it before.  I’ll say it again.  My avatar is my me that’s more “me” than I can be in real life. =^-^=

It’s always my half-joke.  I often respond saying that RL is the game, it’s my RL avatar that’s the fake, and stuff like that.  It’s not meant to be a depressing thing or a form of self loathing.  But, what it is, is when I see the cards that nature laid out for me… I don’t see my self. (>_<)

I’m not really very fat or ugly or anything otherwise, but, I feel as though I don’t fit in here.  My “me” is restricted from being expressed in the real world due to “social norms”, cultural morality, and limitations in medical technology.  But, well, that’s how the cookie crumbles.  Gladly my visual self allows enough of my “me” out to find success in life and finances.  Though, it wasn’t quite enough for me to find happiness. (._.)

In comes computers.  These little heat-producing, light blinking, buzzer buzzing devices gave me a glimpse of what my self could be.  I interacted very well with them.  I still do.  Since before I was a teen, a computer was used to be an extension of my self. (^_^)

Come back a few years later and this Second Life thing comes about.  “Your World.  Your Imagination.”… ten dollars.  DERP!  I wasn’t exactly ready to dump money into online stuff at the time. DX

By the time I was aware that accounts could be opened for free, I started an account.  As my personal norm, it had a screwy name.  (^_^)

Things didn’t go so well.  My computer really couldn’t cut it, framerates were super slow.  I landed in a welcome area that was far from welcoming.  What few people I could have considered friends were constantly clashing with me, or I them, and it didn’t take very long for me to say FSK it, log out, and walk away. (._.)

Still… I felt as though I could be something, just, not in the way I found at first. (._.)

Come late 2007, my main computer starts getting royally unstable and practically unable to power on.  Time to replace it.  I tossed a couple thousand dollars at NewEgg and got some parts to shove together in hope of making something that didn’t spark and burn the moment I turn it on. (^_^)

With that out of the way, I take another look at SL.  Quite tired of waiting for Playstation Home to come out of closed beta, what the hey, I ain’t got nuth’n to lose. (^_^)

Well… I lost my password. (._.)

Okay, make a new account… Surname list… “Sideways” Heh, stupid name.  Oh well… Just a tossable account until I find my password… “Imnotgoing” HA! Silly! And nobody got it before me! XD

Spending some time thinking about what I did wrong the last time around, I made some changes to my AV.  Far shorter, practically child-like, surely creepy.  After that was months of me hopping around, bugging people, chatting, friending, and wondering why people say SL is so big when all I can see is a quad with 20 people in it totally surrounded by grass… (O.o)

I got beyond that and met more people.  I continued to feel quite at ease, more and more as time passed.  While letting my personality scream, I was refining my appearance.  One slider here or there.  I honestly don’t quite know when I stopped.  I just started making less and less adjustments as I’ve seen things and figured they’re not worth moving. (^_^)

But, why can’t I just move ~this~ slider? … Well, that would change things and I wouldn’t be me anymore.  I’m always having to up-size hair, so why can’t I just shrink my head a bit? … Well, that would change things and I wouldn’t be me…  “me”… Oh, crap. I’m calling the petite little digital crud “me”. (=_=)

But, why not?  There were things I always wanted to say.  In RL I’ve had to stay silent.  In SL, I could spout about it.  There were things I always wanted to wear.  Hmmm… I’ll spare y’all.  There’s something about “me” that clicks every time I step into this creepy little bugger.  (^_^)

And, I’m like… That’s it! Isn’t it?  (O_O)

My little hyper self can spring out of this towering lurching shell and flip the FSK out. XD

What happened? (O.o)

Ooooh yeaaaah… I don’t have this “image” to maintain.  I’ve re-created my own image in SL.  But, it’s not the image of my physical form.  Far from it.  It’s who and what I actually am.  The scrubby little psychopath with a fascination for electronics, structures, and the physical workings of things.  (^_^)

Hang on… Ain’t that what I do for my RL career? (O.o)

Bet your frigg’n nipples it is. =^-^=

So, I’m all, DUDE!!!  This is me! XD

I don’t know how. (O.o)

I don’t know why. (o.O)

And I’m not quite ready to question it. (-_-)

But, inworld, my self is liberated.  My self is revealed.  My self is exposed (no nakie jokes, please =^-^=)  My self is there.   My “me”.  It’s wicked stuff.  This is my “me” and you can’t PAY me to change a thing that I haven’t already decided to change, myself.  =^-^=

Second Life is not interesting.  It’s a waste of time.  It has no meaning.  But… Real Life is pretty much like that just as much.  But, there is one thing that Second Life has that Real Life can’t.  It’s the “me” that I see myself and my self as.  Your mileage may vary.  (^_^)y

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Walls. (o.o)

Posted on January 23, 2011 by Imnotgoing Sideways

This just kinda sparked on me as I was leaving a comment on a blog.  After writing up the comment I had to select an account to post under.  The selections were reasonably prominent sites like Google and Twitter.  So, cool. (^_^)

Then, I had to fill out a Captcha.  Hmm… I don’t mind.  At least it wasn’t one of those epic complicated and scrambled ones that take a few trys to get right.  So, cool. (^_^)

Then, instead of seeing my comment in place, I see a message telling me that my comment will be visible after being approved.  That’s fine.  It was just a comment.  So, cool. (^_^)

But, wow… As much as I can jump each hurdle without problem or complaint… That was quite a few hurdles.  So, hmmmm… I get to thinking. (-_-)

Oh, if you’ve checked out the blogorum lately, they’re getting spammed again! XD

Like, some monies scam or trade or whatever.  It got to the point where they pushed all the legit posts off the front page.  Frigg’n wicked bold, that. (^_^)

So, I mention to my friends… Dude! My own bloody blog has better spam protection than that… And, it’s really only one service plus one default rule.  Akismet reports that it has protected me from nearly 300 spams.  It’s a good system. (^_^)

Same goes for LL Blogs, Youtube videos and such… Even to the point where comments are totally shut off for certain postings. (>_<)

We all have our walls. (._.)

It’s been easier to clearly define them as well.  Especially on an internet driven by mute, ignore, kick, ban, disconnect.  We can seal ourselves up in our comfortable homes and flame away while plugging our virtual ears from any response. (>_<)

Now, it’s not all a bad thing… Because, there are a whole bunch of other people doing the same.  And, who want’s to be flamed?  (>_<)

Then, there are the spammers.  Just saying stuff because they can.  Offering links to yourdickcangetlonger.com or whatever.  I can’t believe they’re delusional enough to think that it’s even a borderline viable form of advertising anymore.  Force feeding information to people who basically don’t want it.  (=_=)

But, that’s just it.  In protecting ourselves, we have become more and more psychologically aggressive.  If you want to get through to someone, you have to compare their stance to Nazism.  People take offense to extremes, even so much as comparing the termination of an account as some sort of “death”.  (O.o)

I dunno.  I’m surely guilty of my share of flaming too.  But mute, ignore, kick ban… I reserve those things.  My current mute list, empty.  My estate ban list, empty.  Even here on my blog, how many hoops does anyone have to jump through to post here?  As far as I know, they  just gotta offer an Email address and get past my great Akismet guard doggie. =^-^=

I wonder what causes this threshold, though.  I can be with a friend and someone is harassing us.  I think nothing of it and often just laugh.  Whereas, my friend will be troubled by it.  We clearly have different thresholds.  It’s not a bad thing, but, it changes how we react to the same situation.  And, a lot, if not all, of the grief we get from the situation is based on how we react. (^_^)

Like I said… I dunno.  =^-^=

At the same time… My site, my rules.  I got this host so that I can be as unrestricted as possible.  I think, keeping the walls down in comment blocking is sort of my return in favor for being able to say whatever I want.  Tit for tat, y’know? (^_^)

Why I’m still behaving myself is beyond me… (O.o)

Uhm… Next post may have porn in it, okies? =^-^=

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