Failure to read an open book. (-_-)

In a way, I’m enjoying the malarkey being flung my way.  It’s quite entertaining how wrong and inconsistent someone can be yet still stand, expressly indignant, by their own stories. (^_^)

Where to start?… (>.>)

Hmmmmmm. (-_-)

Well, there’s a lot of stuff I talked about before.  I’m guessing it would be silly to rehash it all yet again.  And, all I got was this silly nickname. =^-^=

My interests!  Hows about that? XD

Well… To get something out of the way.  My mindset; I am Immy.  That is to say I don’t “use” Immy, I don’t “play” Immy, and I don’t “control” Immy… At least not any more than my mind is using, playing, and controlling my physical body. (^_^)

Oh, and a recent change.  Have I mentioned it here yet? (O.o)

Well, I buried the hatchet with my crush… Or, former crush, that is.  And I guess it was a “me” thing to do to have a “breakup haircut”… Of course, can’t really break up what wasn’t there and SL haircuts don’t really bode well.  So, I’ve turned human.  I’m still up in the air about things, so, I haven’t shifted my profile.  But, I seem to be settling in to a chubbier, fleshier, more ‘bio’ Immy. (^_^)

Now that I think about it, I have mentioned that before. (O.o)

Okay, well, that’s out of the way. =^-^=

So, I’ve gone from a Tesla project gone wrong to a flesh&bone being…

Where am I going with this? (O.o) ….

AH!!! My friends.  =^-^=

By the way, yes, I’m pretty much just typing my flow of thought. Xp

I did the gynoid thing in hope to fit in with my closest friends.  Most of which have immersed themselves in doll roleplay… Which, in turn, has a ton of BDSM aspects.  I’ve never been really clear how deeply I wanted to explore things… I’m still not clear.  But, “when in Rome”… You know? (^_^)

So, I popped the tubes on, modded a neck piece from a full AV outfit, and rode the wave for quite a while… Including some of the BDSM trappings (pun intended, badump-pcshsh!).  I’ve actually had a pretty large gambit of gear.  Collar scripts from Dari’s Haus, Amethyst, ToKon, and currently Open Collar.  Can’t say I use much of it, though.  In fact, once in a while I get quite miffed to think about all the money I spent on that junk simply to never put it to work. (._.)

Hm… But, what am I well known for? (O.o)

Nehehehe. =^-^=

The ballgag! XD

I remember why I was wearing that.  I’m prone to chronic self deprecation.  My friends, not wanting to hear it anymore and quite aware that I was hurting myself, required me to wear the gag.  It was my indicator that I had to be silent.  Or “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all”. (._.)

I took the picture as a self reminder.  And I think I even used it in a forum post to indicate that I’d shut up for a while.  Either way, I surely wasn’t shy about it.  I was being silenced.  A few people saw the ballgag as something of a sexual nature, but, as far as I know I don’t share a sexual relationship with my friends… Particularly the friends that gagged me. (>_<)

Not happy times, then. (._.)

Later on, to mock someone… Who?… Amm… Gun… Big Guns! Or was it Gunz? (O.o)

Anway, to mock him, I generated a new picture. (^_^)

Cuter hair… Actually, that was the Truth Christmas freebie at the time. (^_^)

“Immy in a ballgag” is at risk of SL meme status… Heh. (=_=)

Funny thing.  It’s been said that I deleted the first picture… Which surely hasn’t happened.  Otherwise, I’d have had to go back in time to replace it or nail down some sweet deal with Cris.  Someone who, at best, tolerates my presence on his site… I doubt I’m in a position to ask him for any favours. (>_<)

Much of the rest is a matter of “am” and “was”.  I insist that my third avatar shape is an adult.  Young adult, yes.  18, if someone wants a number.  But, that’s how I put it.  (^_^)

Note, I called it my third shape.  My first was very very little.  Best described as a loli-imp.  I related to kid avatars quite a bit and even joined the Second Life Children group.  When I got involved with the friends I’m mentioning above, well.. I had to sprout up.  They were almost always at some doll place with some sort of latex clad male fantasy hovering around somewhere. (=_=)

So, my second shape was actually a rather rushed project.  I used a leftover shape that I made for sale for people who wanted “realistic” proportions.  Though, it was extremely tall.  Or, at least, tall for me. (>_<)

In comes my third shape.  5’1″ “Immy”, carefully trimmed into my ideal of what teh cutenezz is.  I really found my “me” in that shape.  As well as adapting it into the cyberdoll/gynoid that I spent a year as. (^_^)

Though, there are two or three people who want to say that I’m still a kid AV.  I guess getting taller, developing my face, and sprouting boobs wasn’t enough to convince that select few that I’m no longer a kid. (=_=)

Well, meh. (=_=)

None the less, I put myself out there, quite public.  Forums, blogs, and such.  If someone wanted to know something and I was sure they actually cared, I’d let them know.  Of course, this is ammo for the few who want to point out the splinters in others’ eyes.  So, I get this run of “Ohmygod, she admits to this!” “Ohmygod, she does that!” and I’m all, “Ohmygod, get a life!” (O.o)

I’ve quite often spilled my guts about things and seen my words spun into whatever to be used as an accusation against me. (=_=)

The story about me resulting in a screwed up mother kicked out of a bookstore and mall gets spun into some shady tale of me exposing kids to Anime porn. (=_=)

My asking for advice on how to handle someone who had deceived me into age verifying them, eventually to announce their 18th birthday gets spun into me “going too far”. (=_=)

And, maybe y’all remember my three bans.  Each being a calm situation until my AV is bouncing off barriers.  Only later to be spun into me being a “bobbing and weaving” participant in some sort of grief raid. (=_=)

Meh… (=_=)

In celebration of this rather exciting run of events, I present…


I guess, for a while, I let these things get to me.  From the looks of things, there’s a short list of people who will believe the crap.  But, so far, they’re friends of the crap flinger.  And, no not Crap.  She-he-he-she-it-that-GAH!! is a friend.  One of the kindest old grumps I’ve met.  (^_^)

**That said… Tell me your preference.  Inworld, I see “she” but you often claim “Mr. Crap” and it becomes a juggle.  Maybe I should keep a coin to toss? (=_=)

Anyway… I put myself out there.  Ya’ can’t miss me.  I don’t go away. =^-^=

I’ve made myself an open book.  All you have to do is read and you’ll know me.  It’s not my fault that some people are illiterate. (^_^)

I wonder… Should I speak of my relationship/role in NCI?  Dunno.  Long story short, the community is what it wants to be.  They can do that with and/or without Carl and myself.  Not sure why their decision to refuse to volunteer in an exclusive group has anything to do with me at all.  But, some make it sound like the current state of NCI is the result of “Immy’s hostile takeover”. (=_=)

Someone please explain that logic to me.  It still gets to me regardless of how totally illogical it is. (=_=)

I haven’t checked… Does my profile still mention my bell?  I’ve temporarily taken it off.  I think I’ll put it back on this weekend.  People worry when I show up without it. (>_<)

A touch of advice:  When faced with an open book, consider reading it before you tell anyone what it contains.  You’ll only make yourself look the fool when people decide to read it for themselves. (^_^)y

About Imnotgoing Sideways

I'm a Second Life avatar with my own cookie jar! (^_^)y
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5 Responses to Failure to read an open book. (-_-)

  1. brinda Allen says:

    Yup…I did notice the new look when I dropped in for and answer to what has been turning out to be the weekly question from brinda…. you was busy so I din stop to chat.
    You know… I’m usually just tryin to keep my head above water so I don’t bother to take much serious!
    {sent you a Tweet just a bit ago… you take care of you first}

  2. Addy says:

    I stopped playing SL years ago, but I do occasionally read through the blogs from time to time to “stay in touch” with a period of my life that I invested so much energy and time. I came across your blog a few days ago via a link from whom I suspect in being the source of much of the drama you find yourself mired in. I just wanted to drop a supported missive here and say that you’ve nothing but my admiration and support in standing up and being the truly wonderful and unique person you are.

    I myself went through not a few accusations of being in age player by having a AV the same height as my real-life figure (being 5’4″) back when I still used SL. So I’ve some idea of the bs one goes through when not being the 12’3″ “SL-normal”. In any event Immy, I’ll close by saying stay true to yourself and consider the source. The individual involved sadly has some serious emotional issues and I think you’ll find that the best course of action (if you find the situation truly distasteful) is to simply ignore her, and let her rot in her own paranoid delusional machinations. ^_^

  3. Dale Innis says:

    I get it, I get it! “Trappings”, hahaha! :)

    I can’t imagine anyone actually thinking your *current* AV is a child in any sense.

    And in general some people are just mean, or have such strong internal issues that they act mean. Generally best to ignore those people, and think about the fun ones instead. :)

    (Advice I don’t always take myself, I freely admit!)

  4. sandra says:

    Your friends gagged you to stop you running yourself down sounds sexy to me

    • Imnotgoing Sideways says:

      It was their solution. I believe it also included them openly stating compliments about me which I couldn’t counter, as I typically would. Had me in tears within the hour. (._.)

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