Things are turning around since then.
Starting with one more adjustment of my meds and the addition of Lolita in my life, I’ve been improving. In nearly a year, I haven’t been in the mood I was during that meltdown.
I’m sure my cat has been the best little fuzzy therapist I could ever dream of having.
Either way, it’s been a year since my meltdown and the resulting exit of my best friends. It’s been a year of me finding other ways to spend my time. A year of challenging my limited social skills to try to make new friendships. A year of turning to past experiences, games, movies, and of course the cat.
I’ve been spending a lot more time in NCI. But, the PG-ness of the place has always rubbed me the wrong way. It’s nice to volunteer and support the community. But, I don’t get my chance to be me there.
I’ve since joined in with another circle of friends. Though, the ‘things we have in common’ lists have turned out to be too short for our good. To put it really frankly, I simply didn’t find anyone who could fill me like my best friends.
And, they are my best friends. If you’ve read my Twitter or Plurk feeds over the past year, you’ll have found that I’ve held on to that notion. They “ARE”… Not “were”, not “used to be”, not “former”… I still hold that to be true that they remain my best friends in spite of the rift formed between us.
Which is why I’m more than happy to say that rift has shrunk a bit.
Just this morning, the best of my best friends contacted me again. In what’s now nearly a week away from being a whole year of disconnection, she finally did reach out to me again. This has been a very bright point to my day and I hope it marks the end of what has been a considerably dark year for me.
We’re back to chatting about the little things. Guitars, oddball social things, SL stuff, electronics, and the rest of our friends.
I feel like I can start breathing again. The fallout of my outburst is starting to fade. I can only hope for the best and moreso that I can have the people I appreciate the most back in my life again.
I like this. (^_^)