Thickness (O.O)

I’m seeing the term “Thin skinned” being tossed around a bit.  It got me to thinking about what I see in ‘thick skinned’ and ‘thin skinned’ people and where I fit in the equation. (O.o)

For one… I consider myself to be quite thin skinned.  There are some things that I simply allow to get to me.  At the same time, there are some things that I can totally shrug off.  So, what is that?  What is ‘thick skin’ anyway? (-_-)

I can imagine 2 ways of being ‘thick skinned’.  The easy one is being born with it.  The other is starting thin skinned but gradually thickening as time passes. (<.<)

… To be born with thick skin.  I guess that can lead to the bullish personalities we face once in a while.  The kinds of people who don’t want to be ‘messed with’ from the get-go… But, hang on, I think I’m already wrong here.  Usually the bullish personalities are quite reactionary.  They’re generally paranoid that people are out to get them which triggers the ‘don’t mess with me!’ response. (O.o)

Geh… There’s more layers here than I thought there were.  Stupid flow-of-thought. DX

Either way… Thick skin… Okay, so these are the people who can take the brunt of abuse and just dust it off.  Mind you, if you hit hard enough, they will still be hurt.  But, that makes the hitter look more the jerk given the amount of effort exerted in order to get under the thick skin.  I guess that makes them great people to have around in order to stand up to bullies. (^_^)

But, thin skin.  Just about everything is an injury.  There’s not much to break through to get into this person.  Ah, there’s the reason for being so defensive… Or even aggressive or even a bit crazy.  Just thinking of it now.  If someone is so vulnerable, they build up different defense mechanisms that are more consciously driven and active than their armored counterparts. (>_<)

What can I call it?  Maybe, a ‘flailing personality’? (O.o)

It can come in the form of bullying, the most offensive way to defend a weakness.  It can exhibit itself in isolation, paranoia, maybe even depression and … antisocialism? (O.o)

When someone’s thickness is formed over time, it may exhibit in different ways.  This is just me thinking. As long as the words are flowing through my head, I’ll be stabbing at the keyboard. =^-^=

Anyway… To develop thin skin over time… To develop thick skin over time… I don’t know how to separate the two. (._.)

What I’m thinking is that both types are products of some sort of abuse.  Some injuries dig deep and leave behind sensitive scars.  Others build up and allow a callous to form.  Either way, it’s a change and bound to impact how someone handles conversation and dispute. (o.o)

Where am I going with this?  I dunno.  I’m just going. (O.o)

Well… Myself.  I consider myself someone with skin of variable thickness… Ruddy?  Calloused?  I wonder if there really is a fun word for that. (O.o)

I’ve recognized a lot of my life has been affected by forms of semantic griefing in one form or another.  From the emotional blackmail that defined my marriage and even affects it today.  To the utterly dishonest trolls I face online.  …

Oh! Just thought of something! (O_O)

My marriage.  What has been wearing away at me has actually been forming a callous.  Why, I say?  Well, given events of the past year or two I have changed my role completely.  This coming July marks two entire years without any physical self abuse.  And, I’ve recently put my foot down on subjects such as religion and personal space. (-_-)

So… I’m thin skinned with callouses.  I guess that makes sense.  There are things I’m still allowing to get to me. Liars, for one.  I have the unavoidable urge to defend myself and the people I care about.  Lies, I can’t stand lies.  I feel the need to address them.  I have a fear that someone I care about will believe that lie and there goes yet another friendship. (T_T)

Am I wrong for thinking this way?  Probably. (._.)

But, hey… It’s just me.  I’m hard headed.  I guess it’s best to grow skin thick where it matters.  It’s finding what matters that winds up being the tough part. (._.)



About Imnotgoing Sideways

I'm a Second Life avatar with my own cookie jar! (^_^)y
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3 Responses to Thickness (O.O)

  1. Arianne says:

    Let’s just conclude that we all have skin! :D

  2. brinda Allen says:

    Your true friends always know the truth.

    Sometimes silence is the single most powerful response.
    I heard a great quote a long time ago and can’t remember who to credit just now…
    “I endeavor to live my life in such a fashion that I will not be ashamed no matter what is published about me around the world….. even if what is published is not true”.

  3. ‘Thin skinned’ is a derogatory term for ‘sensitive’ or perhaps ‘possessing dignity.’ Usually it’s applied by the cruel or thoughtless as a self-defense mechanism by way of blaming the offended party for being offended.

    ‘Thick skinned’ isn’t usually derogatory, but often is. It refers to those whose sensibilities have adjusted to constant abuse and/or thoughtlessness, such that they have developed defense mechanisms against those who are thoughtless or abusive.

    This is what I’ll call the ‘skin-thickness false dichotomy.’ In reality, one can be legitimately offended by something, and one can be legitimately apologetic about it, either way without blaming the other for having the incorrect skin thickness.

    If you insult someone and then blame them for their reaction, you deny them their dignity, and similarly, you deny yourself your humanity. Similarly, if someone decides to be ‘thick skinned,’ they make it easier for themselves to remove the humanity from the other. In this way, the accusation of being ‘thin skinned’ is a self-justifying invitation to remove the humanity of others from your view.

    One could argue that part of the reason there is so much hurt in the social world is that we see each other in these ways, and it’s best to avoid those who seek to remove your dignity or humanity. Because, you know… They shot MLK and strung Jesus up on a stick.

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