I’m not really in a low mood right now. Just… Contemplative? (O.o)
This past week one of my best friends, and quite frankly my 3 year crush, has been able to stay home a bit more. We had more time to chat and I’ve even joined an MMO she’s in so we can spend time in there. But, that’s small change.
As I’ve said, she’s my 3 year crush. I’ve been pursuing her in SL for as long as I can remember. PMs, IMs, Email, gifts, the works. I was very selfish and couldn’t bring myself to just let go and be a friend.
You know where my cookie jar is, right? In the Ferguson sim. I went premium and bought it in May of 2008. It was a blank parcel at the time. I didn’t actually ~need~ land. So, why did I buy it? Well, it’s sitting right on the border of her land, the tea party. I wanted to be close. So, I got close.
From then on, we’ve been through a stream of ups and downs. She never held on and I never let go. Truly cat&mouse… Sweet Irony that I was a neko at the time…
Okay, long story short; she and I had a talk. As of this week I have chosen to bring a halt to my pursuing. She anchored her feelings about the situation and I agreed. I’m letting go and we’re going back to simply being fun friends. (^_^)
But, honestly… I didn’t actually start this post to say that. (O.o)
But, maybe it’s related.
I’m considering something. (>_<)
When I started SL, I was this little loli-imp-thing. Leathery outfits, giant spiky boots, razzle-dazzle hair… I was a piece of work. =^-^=
As time went by… I kinda wanted to impress my crush. So, I started shifting to a more neko and taller avatar. She seemed attracted to height at the time. (>_<)
I hadn’t found my “me” just yet in that. I was mostly being something else for someone else. So I started reworking things. I got short again, worked out making my own skins, and started settling into the “Immy” I know best. Cellphone cameras for eyes, tubes and pipes everywhere. It was fun, weird, sassy, and different. =^-^=
But, I’m making changes again. Maybe it’s my emotions getting the better of me, but, I spent some time this week picking out an expensive skin and reworking a copy of my shape around the details on the skin. I made myself an inch taller, probably 20 pounds chubbier, smaller eyes (since they’re not portals with cameras anymore) and a general shift in proportion. (^_^)
So, I’m still the Immy… Just in human form this time. Why? I don’t know. There are so many reasons and non-reasons to re-invent myself right now that I’m in a bit of a whirlwind. What was once an Imp, turned Neko, turned Gynoid has now become living and breathing.
For now… “Immy” is a human. The pods, tubes, pipes, and non-eyes are in indefinite storage. Replaced with a slightly odd flesh&blood version of myself.
Am I flaunting some sort of newly felt vulnerability? I don’t know. Just kind of thought of that now. I’m not a fluid cooled machine now. Yet, I’m still working out who/what I am.
So… For now… Immy is “real”. Where I go from here, I have no clue. (._.)
Say “Hi” to HumanImmy.