“they arent pandering your nacisistic side? you shouldnt need to seek conformation your positives in their eyes, just trust that they have their views and are acting on them accordingly”
Of course I shouldn’t. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have been diagnosed with BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
If you want to dig a hole, you use a shovel. But only if that hole is in sand, clay or soil.
If you want to put a hole in rock or cement, you’ll need some sort of chipper.
Now, maybe if the stone is soft enough, a shovel or pick will still leave a dent.
Look at it this way. You’ve spent your life digging holes in soil. All you know about is how to work a shovel.
And, that’s great. It digs just fine.
Now, you’ve struck a rock. It may be a soft rock which requires a pick or a hard one which requires more power. Either way, the rock is there.
Is this hole to plant a tree? Is there some hope that this hole is the right place for the right thing?
Well, you’ll have to dig it deep enough.
If you move on to another patch of soil and leave the hole behind, what will that hole become?
Please watch that video.
I’m not like everyone else.
I don’t manage compliments, insults, embraces, abandonments, stress, or relaxation in common ways.
I theoretically grew up in an environment that told me to be happy when I was mad, sad when I was happy, and angry if I was sad. I had to live with my feelings going unacknowledged.
You see someone mad First reaction: “Why can’t you just be happy?”
Well… because that someone is freaking mad!
It can be okay to say, “I understand why you’re mad”… Even if you don’t unerstand… Or, even try to understand.
That’s far more helpful than the typical response which to me sounds like “Your emotions are wrong.”
Really. I want to be a friend.
I don’t want to be some emotional dependant.
Nobody wants to treat me like an emotional dependant.
But, they still do treat me like that.
Maybe I’d stop using the crutches when I can go a day without them being shoved in my face.
I’m not the only one commiting harmful unconcious actions.
But, I am the one getting blamed for the whole mess.
So, here I am, abandoned, isolated, tossed aside.
I need to find that sappy emo-slideshow. There are some statements in it that really hit hard. It shows that I’m not alone because someone else gets treated as I do.
Difference being, I sulk and they make Youtube slideshows.
So, please understand.
Care for me or not, you (the big you, all of you) are doing it wrong. You all have put too much energy into countering my uncontrollable behaviours and you have exhausted yourselves.
Then the blame was placed on me.
QUITE WRONGFULLY SO!.
And now, except for you and a couple faceless voices scattered about the internet, I’m totally alone.
So, am I supposed to “just feel happy”?
Or is the standing request is that I need to change before anyone cares anymore?
~~I don’t know if I made any sense, but, I’m trying to.