{"id":570,"date":"2012-04-30T20:36:14","date_gmt":"2012-05-01T04:36:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/darkly-cute.com\/blog\/?p=570"},"modified":"2012-04-30T20:36:14","modified_gmt":"2012-05-01T04:36:14","slug":"heavy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/darkly-cute.com\/blog\/heavy\/","title":{"rendered":"Heavy"},"content":{"rendered":"

That’s how things feel right now. \u00a0Heavy.<\/p>\n

Gladly I’m treading water just above my usual self-destructive rut. \u00a0I’m not feeling well, but, I’m also not looking longingly at sections of rope.<\/p>\n

My friendships, what they were, I still don’t know how to handle. \u00a0No matter what I do, I still think about the people who were right here with me for 3 years, only to part ways in 1 day. \u00a0It’s not what I wanted, but they’re being firm. \u00a0I clearly have no say in the matter from here on out.<\/p>\n

Then comes the question of ‘who’s next’?<\/p>\n

A lot of people are being friendly but for some reason I haven’t found friends yet. \u00a0I appreciate everyone and their kindness but I don’t know who to take in like I did in the past. \u00a0So far, I simply remain afraid of everyone.<\/p>\n

I’ve been using group chats and forums as an outlet, but, those are all superficial links with people. \u00a0Not unlike co-workers. \u00a0There because they’re there and no real solid bond.<\/p>\n

I’m seeing other friends dealing with such loss and confusion. \u00a0I don’t have a clear mental snapshot of all that’s going on, but I smell hostility. \u00a0Unneeded hostility. \u00a0Something that only adds more weight to an already heavy situation.<\/p>\n

I can only assume.<\/p>\n

It’s late.<\/p>\n

I just felt like I had something to say.<\/p>\n

I’m not quite sure if I’ve said anything just now.<\/p>\n

I’ll post it anyway.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

That’s how things feel right now. \u00a0Heavy. Gladly I’m treading water just above my usual self-destructive rut. \u00a0I’m not feeling well, but, I’m also not looking longingly at sections of rope. My friendships, what they were, I still don’t know … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[37,36,35,33,3],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/darkly-cute.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/570"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/darkly-cute.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/darkly-cute.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/darkly-cute.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/darkly-cute.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=570"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/darkly-cute.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/570\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":572,"href":"http:\/\/darkly-cute.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/570\/revisions\/572"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/darkly-cute.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=570"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/darkly-cute.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=570"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/darkly-cute.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=570"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}